I love the holidays and I think that I still have my youthful, innocent hope of these times. Why innocence? Because every year these feelings of overwhelming happiness come around. And every year, they seem to be shot to hell in a hand basket real quick!
When I think of the holidays, I think of family. I grew up in a religion that family is one of the MAIN points of this life and the next. I don't think that's the case in my family most of the time! While I am not perfect, I am inactive from church, and I'm single, there is nothing more important to me than family and sometimes I wonder if my family remembers the teachings of the scriptures and the prophets.
Now I realize that when someone gets married, that family becomes priority. Maybe because I am still unmarried, do I still look forward to my family getting together. I look so forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas gatherings. I think about when I was a kid and the fun times. Getting up in the middle of night and undoing our stockings. I remember sitting in the living room and talking with my siblings all night, enjoying the Christmas lights. I remember we weren't allowed to wake the parents up before 6am. I have fond memories of Christmas and always want to make new, happy memories each year.
It seems this is not ever going to happen in my family again. We've gone from being a blended, strange mixture of people being kids, to grown-ups with their own kids and all but hating other family members for various reasons. It seems like my mom especially, can do no right in people's eyes. Siblings can't stand each other for various reasons, and some just seem to get snottier and "better" than the rest of us as each year continues. I feel that some in-laws think their family is better than ours and would rather stick fire-burning coals in their eyes than spend time with my family! We as adults, can't get past our differences for even 3 hours out of one day in a year! Most of us don't even call each other anymore. So Christmas gathering is a bunch of already pissed off adults before they walk through the doors, dreading seeing the family member they can't stand the most, waiting for some drama moment to happen, sitting there with attitude and watching the clock til this has to end, unhappy, un-christian like adults. HOW SAD and SHAMEFUL!
I realize we aren't gonna all see eye to eye all the time. We all choose to live our lives how we see fit for us. That's fine. But WHY can't we all put our differences aside and put the spirit of Christ and of Christmas in our hearts and enjoy a beautiful, short amount of time with each other?
The Savior, family and eternity, service, love one another, bear each others burdens.... all of these are values that are instilled and ingrained in us as members of the church. You can all sit and think I'm a hypocrite for sighting these things since I don't go to church. No I'm not perfect and I don't pretend I am. No I don't go to church,but before you all sit in judgment of me and my post and get pissed about it, how about a little self-reflection first.
I would love to sit with my parents, siblings, and nieces and nephews and be HAPPY!!!! Watch the kids all play with each other, enjoy the music of the season... Is it really so hard to put on a smile, come with a good attitude rather than one of dread (which I'm just as guilty of in the past) and have fun! Crap, we can't even have a peaceful white elephant gift exchange without someone getting pissed.
My resolve this year is to have fun, show up with a positive attitude and enjoy the little time that my family actually will spend together for a few hours out of 365 days with each other. Life is too short! I love my family and imperfect and silly as each of us are! I wouldn't trade it for any other family!
1 comment:
I agree whole-heartedly. I hope this year will be better.
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